Day One.

A Song that Only I Am Allowed to Like:

I have not had a cigarette since Saturday night. As consequence, my life has fallen to shambles.

Aside from that, today was utterly mediocre.
Continued the ongoing brawl with my English teacher, which I will inevitably win. I have elevated my tactics from “silent treatment” to “roll right up and sass you all in your face.” Will inevitably receive infraction notice soon. Worth it: am fighting the good fight. Also, don’t care about infractions.

Got woken up from a delightful nap yesterday when my fabulous ex-boyfriend decided to send a mass text message: “HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!!!1!!”
Should probably remind him:
-nobody celebrates Cinco de Mayo north of the Mason-Dixon line,
-no good reason for German Jews to celebrate the Mexican independence,
-I fucking hate mass text messages. 

Current crisis: what does one say when their male companion has recently experienced a familial crisis? Already said “I’m sorry.” Feels cliched.
Indubitably should be warm, caring, sympathetic, et. al: am none of the aforementioned. Should probably work on it. Perhaps a prewritten card will do the trick, especially if I add some stick figures with hearts around them (for artistic flair.) Must remember to stop at Walgreens. Will also accept suggestions on how to be warm, caring, sympathetic, et. al.

Must go:
-scavenge my possessions for any loose Parliaments,
-make some (Fair Trade certified) coffee,
-think of ways to be warm and sympathetic,
-pretend to do homework to appease the administration,
-microwave 12 of the pre-frozen mozzarella sticks I have been safeguarding with my life since Friday.

Blum, blam.